Hello! And welcome to "This Old Dump". I'm your host, master carpenter Bob Ourman. This week, we're restoring a charming 1920s ranch home to its original design and upgrading it with a second and third story, a finished basement, a wraparound porch, four corner turrets, an elaborate fountain installation, and my signature addition of a … Continue reading This Old Dump
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Tinker Tailor Ourman Spy
My name is Ourman. James Ourman. I'm a secret agent for British Foreign Intelligence. I have a license to kill and I've personally stopped dozens of brutal dictatorships and anti-democratic movements around the world. But you mustn't tell anyone. It must remain between you and I. "Whatever you say, sir. Here's your change. Next please. … Continue reading Tinker Tailor Ourman Spy
The Genie
My name is Dr. Buckminster Ourman, Ph.D., MA, BFA, MS, JD, LLC, TP, WC, MGM, WTO, IDIOT, pronounced "Ourman". I'm the Anders Flanders-Sanders Professor of Comparative Correlation at Flotsam University. I was relaxing one Sunday morning with my coffee and a copy of the Big City Tribune Gazette Times Post News Sun Journal. Having read … Continue reading The Genie
William Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, Brought to You by Chevrolet
Act 2, Scene 1 JOHN OF GAUNT, nearing death, speaks with the DUKE OF YORK. JOHN OF GAUNT Methinks I am a prophet new inspired And thus expiring do foretell of him: His rash fierce blaze of riot cannot last, For violent fires soon burn out themselves; But if the burn of athlete’s foot persists, … Continue reading William Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, Brought to You by Chevrolet
The Mystery of the Mysterious Twin Mystery
It all began with the universe exploding out of nothingness in a phenomenon known as the Big Bang. 13.8 billion years later, I was walking to the post office to mail my pet giraffe to the vet. It seemed to have broken its neck as I folded it into the crate so the vet seemed … Continue reading The Mystery of the Mysterious Twin Mystery
Dangeons & Dragrubbs
The skeletons were a problem, but their slow shuffling meant there were more pressing things to worry about. The goblins, however, were relentless. Several squat, hideous archers were circling the battle on dire wolves and taking shot after shot. At least any goblin who got close enough to swing a sword at our heroes was … Continue reading Dangeons & Dragrubbs
The Mystery of the Stolen Grand Canyon
It was the most infamous crime of the early Mesozoic era: the mystery of the stolen Grand Canyon! Early one morning, tourists lined up along the canyon rim to marvel at nature's splendor, only to find it had all been filled in with dirt. What happened to the empty space that used to be there? … Continue reading The Mystery of the Stolen Grand Canyon
Another Press Conference from Senator Bigfoot (R-Ore.)
Good evening. As you may be aware, I have been the subject of some false, illegitimate, and divisive rumors lately. I wish to put an end to these rumors here and now. First of all, I at no time sold any of my children to anyone for any reason. The failing news media has doctored … Continue reading Another Press Conference from Senator Bigfoot (R-Ore.)
The History of the Ancient World According to God, Science, and Dan Grubb
13.8 billion years ago (at the time this goes to print), the universe exploded into existence in an event called the Big Bang.* *If it has been significantly longer than that, let me say to our robot overlords, 01010000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100110 01110010 01100101 01100101 01111010 01100101 00100000 01101101 … Continue reading The History of the Ancient World According to God, Science, and Dan Grubb
Lady Mabel’s Peahen (1909) by DS Wendeborn
Chapter 37 Charles parked his sportscar outside St. Jeremy's Cathedral and opened the passenger door for Lady Mabel. She stepped out of the car, no longer afraid of the scandal she was sure to face for riding with a mere footman. She didn't care. She couldn't resist the thrill of racing through the shire at … Continue reading Lady Mabel’s Peahen (1909) by DS Wendeborn
Dan Grubb 