To the people of Richmond: I like living here. It’s a great city with a lot of culture and excellent food. Lousy food, too, if you’re into that, but also excellent. I like the murals and the law that made tattoos compulsory. I like talking crap about developers who put up ugly gray buildings and how even the coolest people here are all proud, open dorks. We have our problems like everywhere does, but overall, great job.

However, we have a problem. It’s not new. We’re notorious for it. Richmond talks during concerts.

I moved to RVA as an adult in 2006, so I didn’t grow up in the behavioral ecosystem that molds one into a concert talker, so, People of Richmond, help me understand: How did we get here?

Did they teach it in schools? Were there PSAs in the 80s and 90s saying it’s great? Did Jim Duncan end the weather by saying, “Remember to set your clocks back and also talk loudly during concerts”? Was it started by the same folks 100 years ago that put up all the statues, just to cement their legacy as turds?

And what’s stopping people from not talking loudly during a show they paid way too much money to see? Why can’t they break the destructive cycle? Were they programmed as a psy-op? Are they not aware that they can talk over the stereo at home for free?

The Violent Femmes put on a great show the other night. I think. Hard to tell because someone was behind me the whole time telling his pals what bands he saw as a cool 80s punk. But then, isn’t loud nostalgia the most punk rock thing of all?