Emperor Palpatine shuffles onto an empty stage. Lights, please. The lights dim and a single spotlight shines like a halo on the Emperor. And there were on the same moon Wookiees abiding in the mine, keeping watch over their ore by night. And, lo, the specter of the Empire came upon them, and the glory … Continue reading The Darth Vader Life Day Special
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Dangeons & Dragrubbs
The skeletons were a problem, but their slow shuffling meant there were more pressing things to worry about. The goblins, however, were relentless. Several squat, hideous archers were circling the battle on dire wolves and taking shot after shot. At least any goblin who got close enough to swing a sword at our heroes was … Continue reading Dangeons & Dragrubbs
The Mystery of the Stolen Grand Canyon
It was the most infamous crime of the early Mesozoic era: the mystery of the stolen Grand Canyon! Early one morning, tourists lined up along the canyon rim to marvel at nature's splendor, only to find it had all been filled in with dirt. What happened to the empty space that used to be there? … Continue reading The Mystery of the Stolen Grand Canyon
Another Press Conference from Senator Bigfoot (R-Ore.)
Good evening. As you may be aware, I have been the subject of some false, illegitimate, and divisive rumors lately. I wish to put an end to these rumors here and now. First of all, I at no time sold any of my children to anyone for any reason. The failing news media has doctored … Continue reading Another Press Conference from Senator Bigfoot (R-Ore.)
The History of the Ancient World According to God, Science, and Dan Grubb
13.8 billion years ago (at the time this goes to print), the universe exploded into existence in an event called the Big Bang.* *If it has been significantly longer than that, let me say to our robot overlords, 01010000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100110 01110010 01100101 01100101 01111010 01100101 00100000 01101101 … Continue reading The History of the Ancient World According to God, Science, and Dan Grubb
Lady Mabel’s Peahen (1909) by DS Wendeborn
Chapter 37 Charles parked his sportscar outside St. Jeremy's Cathedral and opened the passenger door for Lady Mabel. She stepped out of the car, no longer afraid of the scandal she was sure to face for riding with a mere footman. She didn't care. She couldn't resist the thrill of racing through the shire at … Continue reading Lady Mabel’s Peahen (1909) by DS Wendeborn
Press Conference of Senator Bigfoot (R-Ore.) Upon His Return
(from my second and better collection of short humor, "Pity the Slug!") Good morning. Thank you for coming. I’ve got a brief statement and then I’ll take a few questions. Okay. There are once again rumors going around regarding my conduct. I would like to take this opportunity to put those rumors to rest. First: … Continue reading Press Conference of Senator Bigfoot (R-Ore.) Upon His Return
Marian the Contrarian
Marian the contrarian loved to answer "No". When someone said to hurry up, she always went real slow. When people wanted change, she'd defend the status quo, 'Cuz Marian thought that she was better than the average Joe. Marian the contrarian saw life as debate. It didn't matter what you said; she'd always altercate. She'd … Continue reading Marian the Contrarian
One Day, In Hell
This is a bit from my second collection of humor, Pity the Slug! I really love that book. It's one of the few things I'm unabashedly proud of. You can download it on your kindle or nook or whatever. Here's "One Day, In Hell": Part One Hi, everyone! Welcome to the Q2 team meeting. Lucifer’s … Continue reading One Day, In Hell
The Car Trip of Destiny
When I was 11 or 12, my mom, my brother, and I drove from Virginia to Maine to visit my aunt. Most of those 2 days in the car were spent listening to my brother's new tapes. I had no idea the effect those three cassettes would have on me. 1) George Carlin, "Occupation: Foole": … Continue reading The Car Trip of Destiny
Dan Grubb 