Some day, I’d like to be elected President of the United States of America. And then I’d get a bunch of great laws passed and try to improve everybody’s lives. I’d assemble the best and brightest around for my advisors and cabinet and together we’d hammer out the best solutions possible to all of the nation’s woes.

And then, one brisk January morn, thousands would gather to witness another in the steady line of peaceful transfers of power as the highest office in the land is handed from one honorable citizen to another. And there on that podium, as my successor waits to be sworn in, I’d stand in front of a microphone and address the world, declaring, “So long suckers! I’ll see you all in Hell!” Then I’d run off into the woods so the new guy couldn’t be inaugurated. They’d never find me, and I’d be President forever. Yes, my friend, that is my vision for America.